"Throwing Stones" June 30th 2013

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

It is impossible to ignore the latest distasteful airing of dirty laundry. The admission by Paula Deen that decades ago she used a racial slur. There can be no defense for using such offensive language by anyone of any race. This seems to get a pass in some circles, primarily hip hop culture where it seems somehow to almost be a term of affection. The fact is, this is the worst kind of hypocrisy and ultimately self-defeating for a society that seems to want to remove this word from usage. The more it is used, the more it is heard and the more it will be repeated. And of course, every time a rap artist uses it, they seem to belie the contention that they don't like it. Simply put, if you don't want to hear it, don't say it. 

But that is not all that I want to talk about. We have all said and done things that we regret. They aren't always quite as public as what Paula Deen did, but they can be as insensitive and in some cases as indefensible as what she did. Most of us make a sincere effort to not only come clean about our offenses, but to make amends and redeem ourselves. When we do this we are not defending what we did but we are simply asking to be forgiven. At that point the charitable and Christian thing to do is to forgive. Because we have all been there. We have all done wrong somewhere at some time and needed to be forgiven. Think about some people who have done wrong... very wrong in some cases, and have been forgiven. Jimmy Carter admitted publicly to lusting in his heart after women other than his wife, and while I am not one of Mister Carter's biggest fans, I appreciate the fact that he not only saw a flaw and sin in his heart but that he had the courage to publicly admit it. And I think that while Jimmy Carter has said and done many things that are at best questionable, he has been forgiven for that. Michael Vick is a very good example of someone who has done far worse than using a racial slur, but he admitted to his crimes, asked for forgiveness and paid the debt that our laws and society demanded. It seems fair to say that he has been forgiven. To be clear, I do not now, nor will I ever condone his acts. I do not now, nor will I ever defend him or what he did. But because I am a Christian I am compelled to forgive him for his heinous and inhumane acts. That doesn't mean that I will frequent businesses that employ him in any capacity, and I would obviously never let him near my cats. But (not that it is likely to mean anything to him) I forgive him because he asked for forgiveness.

In closing, I'd just like to reiterate that we have all done wrong. We have all fallen short and needed forgiveness. When someone publicly falls and publicly asks for forgiveness, try to resist the urge to start casting stones. 

Perspective June 23rd 2013

Not too long ago, I had the displeasure of running into someone who felt the need to make fun of a bit of harmless Star Trek fun out there in Facebook land.... He said that it was lame and stupid and we needed to get a sense of perspective. I don't particularly care if this person likes Star Trek or not, or really any of my other interests. What I do care about is the bad manners and utter disdain that was demonstrated by one of my 'friends'. Nobody forced him to make a comment, nobody solicited his opinion. We certainly do have freedom of speech, and Facebook and similar social networks certainly represent an open mic across the country and the world. But the fact is, if all you are doing is spreading negativity and putting others down, you are not making the world a better place. You aren't helping. There are serious issues out there, and websites like Facebook are ideal for getting important word out to many people. But it is also important to understand and respect the fact that some people aren't always 'on' politics. Awkward as this sounds, important issues are certainly important, but sometimes people need to be able to turn off the important and have some fun. And beating up on them for that really doesn't do anyone any good. This guy, and others like him not only love to talk politics (which admittedly is important), but will also denigrate anything else. Now far be it from me to tell people what they should or shouldn't be talking about, but the anger and vitriol has been turned up so loud that it is threatening to drown out everything else. Folks, I can guarantee you that if you occasionally let a trivial post go without injecting politics into it, or leave a harmless picture alone, despite its lack of perspective, the sky will not fall. The country will survive you skipping a target on Facebook.

What I'm really trying to get at is this. There are very serious issues out there that affect us all on a daily basis, and we need to be vigilant and pay attention and even spread the word. But we weren't put here to be serious all the time. A life without laughter, without light or fun or play is quite simply a waste. Aside from the proven health benefits of smiling and laughing, the fact is that life can be serious and dreary enough without trying to rain on someone's parade. And for that matter, it is important for everyone to find time in the day, even if it's just a half hour or twenty minutes to stop and relax. File away the bills, turn off the depressing news, walk away from the politics and find some way to treat yourself. And don't ever begrudge someone else doing the same thing. This isn't about Star Trek, or Facebook. It's about having fun in life and allowing others to.

Strength

Think of the way that your body fights off infections and disease. Not by never being exposed to injury or sickness, but quite the opposite. Our antibodies are strengthened through germs... Minor attacks on the body that teach our systems to fight back and be strong. Our spirits and hearts are the same. Every hit... every fall.... every unjust injury makes us stronger and better. You may hate the storm.... the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. But you will be better and stronger in the end. Never give up. Never surrender!

"Promises Promises" June 16th 2013

I'd like to talk today about keeping our word. That means not only to others, but to ourselves. When we decide to make a change in our lives for the better it is usually not an easy thing. It may be an exercise regimen, or saving money, or giving up a bad habit. Whatever it is, it usually means breaking from a comfort zone and pushing ourselves to improve our lives. It is very important to realize that these things generally take time and persistence. They may not show immediate results. They require strength of will. Faith and determination pay off in the end, but only through self discipline. Changes that are easy are rarely substantive. The important stuff takes patience and determination and sometimes good old fashioned sweat. Depending on what you are changing in your life you may be able to go to others for advice and support, but you are the key. You have to find a way to stay strong. In the end, the only person who can change you is you. Don't fill your life with broken promises to yourself. It may be easier in the short term to not do the hard work of changing, but in the long run you won't like the person who let you down.

The value of our word becomes even greater when we give it to someone else. Really, the only thing we have of any value is our word. Material things may place us at the top levels of society and in positions of power, but that value is meaningless because it can be lost or taken away. You cannot print value. (if you doubt that, look at the rollercoaster ride that is the dollar, or the rise and fall of people like Bernie Maddoff). Only we can give our word, and only we can break it. Before you give your word to someone, consider whether or not you can actually do it. If you aren't sure, you should either not promise anything at all, or tell them that you will try your best. It is far better to not promise than to promise and not deliver. And one more, very important point. If you break your word, don't fall back on the excuse "I didn't say 'promise'." That carries as much weight as crossing your fingers behind your back. It's an excuse that belongs on the playground. When you give your word, you make a promise. Simple as that. So my advice, something I strictly follow is this. Don't make promises easily or casually. Make them only when you know you are willing and able to keep them. That may not make as many friends quickly and easily, but those that you do make will value you a great deal more.

"All in the Family" June 9th 2013

I'm talking about two seemingly unrelated subjects today. We lost Jean Stapleton last week. A very sad thing. As Edith Bunker she represented something that made America great. A quiet, stubborn dignity and inherent decency that sees us through crisis after crisis with a moral compass that is unshakable. Edith didn't always do the smart thing. She wasn't always the brightest person in the room. She was occasionally gullible. She even allowed Archie to walk all over her sometimes when she shouldn't have. But she was good and loving and hardworking and unselfish. She stood by her husband and family no matter what. She chose her friends based not on the color of their skin but by the content of their character. And as the series went on she learned to stand up to Archie more and fight for what was important to her. She loved her family and despite the fireworks, her family always loved her. They understood that at the end of the day, the family was the most important thing. It was the core. The strength. The foundation. Years later, Rosaanne Barr liked to call herself a "Domestic Goddess". Well, it's just my opinion, but the real Domestic Goddess always was and always will be Edith Bunker. Quiet dignity. Quiet humility that loves rather than bullies or laughs at. Quiet stubborn hard work to keep her family together and taken care of. Those are all old fashioned values that may sometimes be subject to the ridicule of those who are used to a fast-moving electronically connected world, but they are also the glue that holds us together. They are what keeps a roof over our head and food on the table, not to mention the family together at the end of the day. We could do with more of Edith Bunker today.

We also observed the anniversary of the D-Day landings on June 6th. That was a moment when the free world united to put aside our cultural differences and confront and defeat evil. We were not always in complete agreement in our plans or agendas. We did not entirely check our egos at the door. We made mistakes and lives were lost unnecessarily. But we worked together and sacrificed for the greater good. Britain opened her arms and homes and bases to foreign soldiers... indeed, past enemies in order to coordinate and launch an invasion that was under the ultimate command of an American general. Remember that little more than a hundred years before World War Two, America and England were bitter enemies. This was a moment in history when we learned as a civilization that not only is evil enabled and encouraged by appeasement, but that it can only be defeated by putting our differences aside and fighting together. The fight was won not only by brave men in uniform on the beaches of Normandy, but by men and women in England working to coordinate the complex invasion, and by private citizens in France and Germany and all over Europe who risked all to aid the soldiers and hinder the enemy. It was even fought by people at home who conserved vital resources and did without basics so that our soldiers would be provided for. There was no guarantee that the invasion would succeed. Many died before they hit he beach. Some even landed on the wrong beach. But we persisted. We worked together. We fought as one. We sacrificed. And in the end, we didn't just end the war. We won it.

These two subjects actually have a lot in common. We can disagree with each other. We can fight and argue and drive each other crazy. We can make mistakes and be gullible. But we are all one family and we should never compromise on that. Love without condition. Stand by each other. Know when it is important to stop arguing and put differences aside to confront evil. None of us are perfect. The important thing is that we don't let go of the wheel in the middle of a storm. We know inherently what is wrong and what is right. Don't ever deviate from that. And make sure that at the end of the day the family is together.

"Speak Out" June 2nd 2013

Freedom of speech and freedom of the press have come into the national discussion of late, and it is beginning to transcend political lines. That is good, because it is something that affects us all. Not necessarily today, but someday. When the government, or anyone in a position of power begins to try to control peoples' right to speak out or report the news, then all of our freedoms are in jeopardy. That may sound a bit melodramatic, but really, think about the importance of simply being able to speak your mind, to call attention to the government, to address injustices. Then think about someone in authority who uses the power entrusted to them to try to limit or control what you say. Not always by literally stopping you, but by harrassment. By searching your correspondences or phone records on the pretense of investigating criminal acts, or using the taxing authority of the federal government to curtail your ability to functon as an organization. This is exactly what is happening in our country right now, and it is not a political issue... it is a moral issue. Any abuse of power by anyone must be fought and decried and exposed for what it is. 

You might think, depending on your political affiliations that it is okay for the IRS to investigate and obstruct certain groups from getting the tax exempt status that they apply and qualify for, but you should also remember that if the rule of law can be denied to one group it can be denied to any group. Political power is fleeting. Parties in power today may find themselves out of favor tomorrow, and could easily find themselves subject to the same scrutiny and constraints that their opponents once experienced. Once lost, freedom is very  hard to regain. If it becomes acceptable to target certain groups because of ther political views, then someday it may become acceptable, by extension, to target other groups for other reasons. Selective discrimination (and really, that is what it is, to target individuals or organizations simply because they belong to a certain group) is always wrong and dangerous. If you don't see that, I would recommend reading George Orwell's fascinating "Animal Farm".

Am I getting political? No. This is a universal and very serious issue in which not only Americans but people all over the world should be interested. If we can justify or allow or even discount the sort of discrimination that seems to be going on (while the truth appears to be locked away somewhere in our nation's capital), then we can justify the same mistreatment for anyone. Any politial group. Any gender. Any race. Equal treatment under the law is a cornerstone of our judicial system and society, and one would hope that our nation's top law enforcement officials would hold that concept in high regard.