Adult or Mature? Sept 8th 2013

Just a quick extra note here. Some of you might expect me to talk about Syria here, but I'm not going to. It isn't my purpose to try to tell people what they should think about certain issues. These are very important to all of us and the world, and people of conscience should make their voices heard. But just as most of you know how I feel about this issue, I know that you all make decisions and form opinions with intelligence and compassion. I'm not going to try to improve on that :)

Last week I touched very briefly on the difference between 'maturity' and today's usage of 'adult'. I'd like to talk about that a bit more this week. Most people maintain hobbies of some kind, whether that involves sports, television, games or other activities. And of course there's nothing wrong with that. In a world that is increasingly tense and uncertain, harmless distraction is often the only thing that can relax us at the end of a long day or lower the blood pressure a bit on a day off. There's nothing immature or irresponsible about that as long as we keep it in perspective, don't hurt anyone and meet our responsibilities. So why am I going on about this? Because depending on your hobby of choice, some may decide that enjoying it means you haven't grown up yet. 

I beg to differ. What you do with your time off is your business. Maturity is, in my opinion, defined by the standards you set for yourself and how strictly you adhere to them. Do you clean yourself up, make your bed and present a positive image to the world? Have you given in to the temptation to wear flip flops and pajama pants to the store? Do you speak politely to people you meet? Do you harass the cashier at the grocery store because they ask if you need anything else or if you want to donate to some charity? (Having been a cashier I can tell you that they say these things because they are told to. They're doing their job). The point is, by caring about the image that you project to the world and presenting yourself as positively as you can, you are showing real maturity. By treating people with respect you are doing the real 'adult' thing.

If it seems like I go back to this subject often, it's because I think that a great many of our problems today are a result of a lack of basic respect for people with whom we disagree. People are going to disagree on things. Our free will makes that inevitable, but it also makes the world a better place. If everyone had the same opinion about everything, I believe that the world would be much poorer place. An interchange of ideas and opinions leads to innovative thinking and helps us to broaden our horizons. But many of us lack tolerance for opposing ideas. I'm not trying to say that we should accept every viewpoint. There are ideas in the world that must be opposed just as there are evil people who must be confronted and must not be tolerated. But there are also many people who have different opinions and interests with whom we can hold polite discussion and discourse. That is the key to acting like a real adult in the world. Presenting your own opinions and interests respectfully, allowing for opposing views and discussing them with reason rather than passion. And of course, presenting yourself to the world in a way that demonstrates the respect you have for yourself and others.