The Beast in the Corner Sept 15th 2013

I didn't post anything special about the anniversary of two attacks on America this past Wednesday (9/11/01 and 9/11/12) because I think that we all have our own thoughts and memories and emotions, and to be honest it was too emotional a day for me to be delving into it. I'm not going to go into the politics or the religion of the attacks. The war that these attacks were a part of is centuries old and while I have my opinions about it, this is not the place for them. What I will talk about, however, is the experience of being touched by death, especially in unexpected and sudden circumstances. 

Most of us can understand this because we've experienced it. Whether it is the sudden horrendous shock of watching on television as thousands of people are massacred, or the surreal experience of having a loved one die as you are trying to save them, it is a thing that changes us and changes our world... and no matter how many people have experienced the same thing, nobody can know exactly how we feel. We aren't the same person that we were before, nor will we ever be. Indeed, whether it involves three thousand strangers or one loved one, our world is changed. It is as if a traumatic bookmark has been placed in the volume of our life. Old pages have not been ripped out, but the turning point... the critical page has been folded and mutilated beyond recognition, and the binding bent and cracked at that point. The book will never be the same. It will never be new again. Never pristine.

In one of my more creative moments this week, I wrote something on my Facebook author page. It may seem somewhat morbid. If so, please forgive me. "An old death is a beast in a forgotten corner, waiting to be noticed."

That beast will never go away. That corner is part of our life... part of our soul, and the beast will live there forever, like any traumatic incident. All we can do is live our lives in recognition of the beast and the corner. We can't deny it, we can't get rid of it. All we can do is establish a peace with it so we can move on and make the most of the gift that is our life. It might help to remember that while others can't know exactly how you feel, most have experienced the same thing. Darkness can be easier to take if you don't go it alone. And it is also important to remember that even if a loved one is gone, you are not. You have a life and a destiny and gifts to give to the world. In my case, I have chosen to honor my late wife by getting my personal house in order and by making regular donations to good, reputable causes. It is my way of turning a negative into a positive. It is a way to embrace life in the face of death. 

Adult or Mature? Sept 8th 2013

Just a quick extra note here. Some of you might expect me to talk about Syria here, but I'm not going to. It isn't my purpose to try to tell people what they should think about certain issues. These are very important to all of us and the world, and people of conscience should make their voices heard. But just as most of you know how I feel about this issue, I know that you all make decisions and form opinions with intelligence and compassion. I'm not going to try to improve on that :)

Last week I touched very briefly on the difference between 'maturity' and today's usage of 'adult'. I'd like to talk about that a bit more this week. Most people maintain hobbies of some kind, whether that involves sports, television, games or other activities. And of course there's nothing wrong with that. In a world that is increasingly tense and uncertain, harmless distraction is often the only thing that can relax us at the end of a long day or lower the blood pressure a bit on a day off. There's nothing immature or irresponsible about that as long as we keep it in perspective, don't hurt anyone and meet our responsibilities. So why am I going on about this? Because depending on your hobby of choice, some may decide that enjoying it means you haven't grown up yet. 

I beg to differ. What you do with your time off is your business. Maturity is, in my opinion, defined by the standards you set for yourself and how strictly you adhere to them. Do you clean yourself up, make your bed and present a positive image to the world? Have you given in to the temptation to wear flip flops and pajama pants to the store? Do you speak politely to people you meet? Do you harass the cashier at the grocery store because they ask if you need anything else or if you want to donate to some charity? (Having been a cashier I can tell you that they say these things because they are told to. They're doing their job). The point is, by caring about the image that you project to the world and presenting yourself as positively as you can, you are showing real maturity. By treating people with respect you are doing the real 'adult' thing.

If it seems like I go back to this subject often, it's because I think that a great many of our problems today are a result of a lack of basic respect for people with whom we disagree. People are going to disagree on things. Our free will makes that inevitable, but it also makes the world a better place. If everyone had the same opinion about everything, I believe that the world would be much poorer place. An interchange of ideas and opinions leads to innovative thinking and helps us to broaden our horizons. But many of us lack tolerance for opposing ideas. I'm not trying to say that we should accept every viewpoint. There are ideas in the world that must be opposed just as there are evil people who must be confronted and must not be tolerated. But there are also many people who have different opinions and interests with whom we can hold polite discussion and discourse. That is the key to acting like a real adult in the world. Presenting your own opinions and interests respectfully, allowing for opposing views and discussing them with reason rather than passion. And of course, presenting yourself to the world in a way that demonstrates the respect you have for yourself and others.

Dignity Sept 1st 2013

"This above all — to thine own self be true"

"For the apparel oft proclaims the man"

-Polonius

Hamlet, Act One, scene iii

William Shakespeare

These two ideas have been stirring in my mind for the last few weeks, and thanks to Miley Cyrus they've finally coalesced into something hopefully coherent. I actually disagree with Shakespeare and Polonius about the apparel proclaiming the man. We all have dignity within us that cannot be hidden by old, worn clothing or taken by poverty or unfortunate circumstance. I spent a brief time decades ago in a homeless shelter. It was simply a case of misfortune. The only job I could find where I lived was a temporary job, and it ran out. I couldn't find another. So I needed a place to go for shelter and help while I got back on my feet. I did so, and then went back to the shelter to volunteer for the same amount of time that I had spent living there. It seemed the only decent thing to do. But the point is, while I was there, I got up early every day. I showered, I didn't drink, I didn't panhandle and I didn't blame the world for my problems. I accepted my circumstances and did the best I could to rise above them. Here's the point though. At no point during that experience did I use it as an excuse to let go of my dignity. I never gave up on success or prosperity BY MY OWN HAND. It was never a matter of, 'this is what life has done to me so now you have an obligation give me something'. It was always a matter of 'what can I do to survive and get out of here'. And I did. I kept myself clean, I found a job, I saved money and I got out. 

These days, however, you can't seem to walk down the street without seeing groups of people sitting at bus stops or around the corner from convenience stores drinking and laughing and bemoaning what the rich have done to them. Then they stop long enough to panhandle from you. You may have lost your job because of the economy. You may have been outsourced or laid off to protect a profit margin. That is all possible and if so it isn't your fault. But nobody is forcing you to sit out in public drinking and panhandling. You made that decision. You are responsible for that. You have given away your dignity in favor of a cheap beer or whatever else. That is your choice, but it also says something about your character. I sympathize and actually empathize with your circumstances, but we both know that you can deal with it better than that. I've actually talked to a few of our local homeless people, and some of them have talked about plans to get to where there are more jobs. To clean up and take control of their lives. That's fine, except that two months later, the same people are there, looking more worn and torn and tattered, drinking a little more and singing the same song about what they are going to do. There are people who will help, but you have to go to them and ask. That willingness to walk away from the corner, from the other homeless people, the drinking friends who live at the same bus stop or parking lot is called dignity. 

And Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus has given us a prime example of the fact that (just as poverty cannot rob you of it) riches and fans and noteriety cannot give you dignity. Just as a homeless person can show great dignity, a mega star who has millions of dollars can shed it quicker than she sheds her clothes. I find it curious that one tries to demonstrate her 'adulthood' by acting in a way that is anything but mature. Sort of the same logic as calling a strip club a 'gentleman's club'. It is in truth just the opposite. 

Dreams... and Passings Aug 25th 2013

Two things this week, my friends. This week upcoming we as a nation are noting the 50th anniversary of Dr Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech. This was a peaceful march on our nation's capital and a strong message to the country and our political leadership, and to the world as well. Its backdrop, the Lincoln Memorial was quite appropriate in the sense that it showed progress in the work begun by Lincoln to rid our country of the scourge of slavery and prejudice. But it also highlighted the immense challenges we still faced then, and sadly the great divide that we still have in this country. There are more good, color-blind people in this country than there were fifty years ago, but there are still bad people on both sides teaching their children to hate whatever is different. That dream is not dead, not by a long shot. But there is still a great deal of work to do. We can talk about changing laws, or writing new laws or repealing old laws until we are blue in the face, but nothing will change until we stop teaching our children that different equals evil or inferior, and that they can be defined by someone else. Dr King had the dream. It falls to us to make sure it comes true.

I'd also like to add a message for a friend that might also say something to anyone who has lost a loved one (and that would be just about everyone reading this I think)

As a matter of courtesy and respect for privacy, I'm not going to name any names.... But a rather famous man passed away a few days ago, and my friend knew him. They worked together at times, but they were also friends. And in the local observance of his passing, she was unable to make it to the funeral. We talked a bit last night about that, and this is how I feel about funerals and paying respects to our friends and loved ones. Funerals aren't really for the dead, they are for the living. If you had a relationship of any kind with someone who has passed away, you don't need to publicly mourn them. Our personal relationships aren't really public. They are private, in the heart and mind, and the way we pay our respects to someone's passing should perhaps reflect the way we knew them. If it helps you to celebrate their life with others in a public setting, that's fine. But it isn't necessary. And I honestly believe (but don't ask me to explain why) that our passed loved ones know and understand that we honor their lives and the effect that they have had on ours, no matter how we choose to do that. I dealt with my wife's passing privately. I made sure that our friends and family members knew, because it was their right to know. But the services I held were my own, in my own heart and in my home. My friend, celebrate your friend's life in the way that is right for you. He will know it and appreciate it. And you and I will drink a toast to his everlasting legacy :)

Dream Big Aug 18th 2013

Someone asked me not too long ago what I would do for a living if I could choose. Well, sad to say, it isn't being a meat clerk. Don't get me wrong, I consider my job to be caring for my family and I love that job. The meat clerk thing is what makes it possible. I don't mind sweating and getting my hands dirty for my family. I've been in a position (more than once) when I didn't have that privilege, so I don't complain. However, given the choice I would certainly write for a living. But anyone who knows me knows that. Writing for me has always been a window to places I could never go. So I am finally taking serious steps in my life to make something productive of that writing. To that end, I am writing an original novel, and a friend is not only acting as an editor, but is also going to help me publish. For the first time. I'm very excited to be taking concrete steps to make a life-long dream come true. 

So, why have I bothered you with my story? Because I want to talk about your dreams for your life. Remember that we aren't just bags of flesh and water and chemicals. Yoda said it very well. Luminous beings are we! We have dreams and hopes. We have an undefinable spirit. We can love. We can exceed the sum of our parts. We can create. It doesn't really matter what our dreams are. They might be writing or acting or science related or athletic in nature. What does matter is that we pursue them. If you're going to dream big (and what's the point of not dreaming big?), do your homework. There's a good chance someone has done something similar. Use their learning experience to help guide you. That isn't a shortcut. It's working smart to complement working hard. Also remember that big dreams, like big journeys take planning and effort and patience. There will be those who try to discourage you, usually because they are secretly jealous that they aren't doing it. There will also be times when things just don't seem to be happening. Times when you feel like giving up, because of a lack of progress or because the road ahead looks too long and the obstacles too impossible. Just remember that you have a spark that cannot be defined by statistics or by others' jealousies. You are smart and strong, and you have a purpose in life and the strength and desire to achieve it. 

According to my faith, we are given dreams and desires by God that we are equipped to achieve. If you want to be an actor or a writer or an astrophysicist, then you have within you all of the talent and drive to get you there. You simply have to do the hard work. If it is truly your heart's desire, then never worry that you can't make it. 

Think about Sir Edmund Hillary climbing Mount Everest. He had to climb higher than anyone else. It would have been a harder and longer climb than anyone else had ever done. He faced hardships that nobody else ever had. He may have even thought along the way that he couldn't finish, but he did. Your dream is your own Mount Everest. It is huge and awe-inspiring, but it is also nothing more than a journey that with faith and strength and knowledge you are well-equipped to conquer. You are already a hero. Show the rest of us.

I'd just like to add this note about the actress Lisa Robin Kelly, who passed away a few days ago at the age of 43. It is easy to look at this, and similar incidents as nothing but the rich stars getting hooked on drugs or alcohol. Websites like TMZ have made an industry of catching these people in their worst moments and shining a bright light on them. I mean, would there even be a  TMZ if it weren't for Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan? But here's the thing. They are people, like you and me. They have fears and hopes and dreams. As well as families and loved ones. They also have weaknesses, just like all of us. They are all of us. Part of the human family. They are simply people who have, like you do, and like I do, chinks in our armor. Weaknesses. We would do better to turn off TMZ and the entertainment shows and gossip mills and paparazzi and remember that in a sense we've lost a sister who, for all of her strengths and weaknesses and fame was really just a family member who was struck by tragedy and couldn't handle her life. Think about her (and others, like Cory Monteith) like they were our own family. And there but for the grace of God go all of us.

Worry Warrior Aug 11th 2013

"Worry is a dividend paid to disaster before the fact."

--Ian Fleming

A very good friend recently talked about the difference between being a warrior and a worrier. He had a very good point. I don't think he was talking about the more colorful kind of warrior (that some of my fellow Trekkies might be thinking about), but rather someone who is willing and prepared to take charge of their life. Does that conflict with my Christian beliefs? Not at all. God is the Lord of my life. He is my savior. I live to do His work, and I do that work with what He gave me. He gave me a mind with which to question and create and reason. He gave me legs with which to walk, arms with which to reach and hands with which to grasp. I believe that we were put here not to endure a mundane existence, but rather to conquer our environment and prosper. Yes, we will be faced with problems and challenges. According to my faith (and I repeat that to emphasize that I'm not trying to tell you what to believe), God does not stop us from sailing into storms, but He does give us sails and a wheel and compass to navigate the storms of life, and strong arms and hands to hold that wheel. And of course He gave us strong vessels to weather that storm.

So how do I make it through life's storms? Quite honestly, I don't always do it very well. I spend time worrying when I could be pushing ahead. It isn't easy, and I fail at times. But I am also learning to worry less about problems and either work to solve or address them or take them out of the equation if they are trivial. Important issues in our life always have solutions. That solution may simply be a way to survive an obstacle. Be prepared for that. For me, I know that God has put things in my path, not to conquer me or to be conquered by me, but in fact to help me to grow. Just like building muscles, we cannot grow as people without stretching ourselves. Straining our comfort zones a little. There are also challenges that we all face that we have the ability to overcome by looking at them objectively. Most problems broken down to their component parts can be dealt with. Not by worrying about them but by worrying at them. Trivial issues must be recognized for what they are and dropped when they become a distraction. I'm to saying to drop every trivial thing in your life. I am a great lover of trivia. Trivia can be wonderful and necessary vacation time for the mind. Not everything we think about and work at has to be important. But when those trivial matters get confused with important issues, we have to make sure we recognize them and be prepared to let them go. Life can be a battle of one kind or another, but we have the tools to win. We simply have to be willing to fight for that victory.

"Cruel to be Kind" Aug 4th 2013

"I must be cruel, only to be kind"

-Hamlet

William Shakespeare

"A little suffering is good for the soul."

-Leonard McCoy

"Star Trek" (2009)

Love comes in many forms and can be expressed in many ways. There is the very demonstrative romantic love, as well as the quiet love of family... even adopted family. There is the kind of love that moves a hero to sacrifice for a greater good (family, country or ideal). There is even the unique love that we feel for animals, and the unmistakable love that they feel for us. Really, there are probably as many kinds of love as their are kinds of people. But one of the hardest to understand and to endure is tough love. That love that makes us allow others to learn hard lessons or grow by struggling or suffering.

That sounds kind of harsh I suppose, but really, some of our most important lessons in life come not through victory, but defeat. We learn more through our mistakes than through our successes. Tough love can start when parents teach their children to work for their allowance. We all need to learn to contribute to a household, to know that the garbage doesn't take itself out. Dishes don't wash themselves, the dog or cat needs someone to actually put the food and water into dishes. All of these examples teach children it takes work to make a household function. That everyone needs to contribute. It also teaches them (and this is a lesson that many seemed to have forgotten) that if we want to have our own money in the world today we need to earn it. We must give something of value (our time and effort) in order to get paid. And with that money we can start to have degree of independence in our lives. As children that may be limited to being able to buy things that we want, but as we grow that naturally expands, and eventually as adults (hopefully) we understand that if we want to have individual freedom and self-determination, we must provide for ourselves. It is impossible to be dependent and independent at the same time. And while none of us can say that we are truly completely independent (no man is an island :) ), we can strive for independence. It is that effort that defines us.

Tough love is also demonstrated (as Hamlet did) by telling people truths that may make them uncomfortable or unhappy. If someone is making a mistake or doing something wrong, you are not demonstrating love for them by suppressing the truth from them. It may make embarrass someone or even anger them, but in the end, they will have the opportunity to grow, and they will know that you helped them. 

And of course, there comes a time when we have to give people the opportunity to succeed or fail. If someone is learning a trade or a skill, of course you have to allow them time to develop their talents. You have to coach them. But eventually you have to stop protecting them for failure. You have to take off the training wheels and let them either succeed or fail. 

Tough love is not always going to make you popular. People may think that you don't care about them, or that you enjoy watching them suffer. Indeed, they may never appreciate your good intentions. But being right or doing good or even loving isn't always about the easy popular route. It's about doing the right thing. 

But Do You 'Like' Me? July 14th 2013

Note: I wrote this several days before the verdict was announced in the George Zimmerman murder case, but I would just like to briefly comment on that. We don't know exactly what happened that night. Witnesses have testified as to what they saw or heard, but there is only one person alive who knows everything. What the rest of us should accept is that according to our legal system, George Zimmerman is not guilty of murder or manslaughter. It does not say that he is innocent, but rather that he is not guilty. That is an important consideration. It doesn't mean that Zimmerman or his attorneys proved his innocence, but that the state failed to prove his guilt beyond a reasonable doubt according to a jury of his peers. That distinction is important because in this country, according to our laws and our constitution, we believe it is more just that a possibly guilty party go free than an innocent party go to jail. We don't always like the outcome that results, but it is something I'm sure we would all appreciate if we were unjustly accused of something. If you disagree with the verdict and feel moved to speak out or protest, that is your right. It is an important right. But if you do so with violence or hate, remember that you are only fanning the flames of hate and injustice.

One thing that we've created with the world of Facebook, Twitter and other social networks (even the world of texting back and forth to an extent) is a new definition of friends, and a way to have friends and extended family around the country and the world. I met my wife in a Star Trek chat room, and another very special, really life-changing friend on Facebook. So I'm the last person to denigrate the concept of Facebook friends. At the same time, we need to remember that our true value is not measured in the number of Twitter followers or Facebook friends we have, or the number of 'likes' and 'shares' we accumulate. Our true value is in what we create in life, and more importantly, the lives we touch. One real, solid friend who gets something from you (and can do the same in return) is more valuable than a thousand who are just part of a list. Don't look for your self worth in a number. You won't find it there. You'll find it in that friend who knows they can turn to you for succor. Being a safe place and a solid companion is so much more important than a bunch of people who just count you as friend number 'whatever'.

Something else along those lines, talking about friends. If you know someone who writes or draws or is an artist of some kind, you probably know that these are all quite personal projects. As a writer, I know that any writing project, no matter the subject or seriousness always comes from my heart and soul. As with most art, its true value is not measured in how many people buy a copy, but in the quality of the piece. And even more important than that is the effort the person put into it. We can all be critics. It doesn't take any skill or work or sweat to criticize someone else's work, especially if you can't or won't even try to do it yourself. If you are going to provide feedback of some kind (and believe me, artists NEED feedback), be honest but also consider that the art wasn't created by a machine. It was lovingly crafted by a person. Every word.... Every drop of ink on the canvas... Every page in the book was an effort. And if you are a spouse of an artist (and yes, I consider writers to be artists), remember that you are also supposed to be their friend. That doesn't mean you have to think that everything they do is a masterpiece (not that they wouldn't appreciate that :) ) but it does mean that you should be their first and greatest supporter. Recognize not only the quality of their work but also the hard work and passion that they put into it. If it is something they are trying to sell, don't put them down or say they're wasting their time if it takes a while to take off. Encourage them. Help them. Stand by them. Odds are they are doing the same for you.

I'm sure most of you remember "It's a Wonderful Life". Well, that is not just a wonderful Christmas classic. It is also an excellent lesson about what is important in life. True wealth is defined by what you have that cannot be bought or taken. I live in Las Vegas, in the shadow of mega-casinos owned by people who don't have a fraction of the riches that I get by just one of my friends. I am truly the richest man in this town.

Independence July 7th 2013

It is perhaps (or perhaps not) coincidental that as the United States celebrated its independence, Egyptians were freed from a man who, though democratically elected, had quickly become a tyrant no better than the one he'd replaced. The future of Egypt is very unclear, and we should not be naive enough to think that the motives behind any of the parties in Egypt's troubles are pure. But the fact is that two dictators have been pushed out of power in just over a year, and that is at least a cause for cautious optimism.

It is the natural state of mankind to be free. We were created with a natural curiosity and compulsion to push back the horizon. We are naturally drawn to reject limits, and without outside influence we generally desire to better ourselves. Simply put, we want to be better and go farther. There is no greater natural draw than the unknown, and no more naural enemy than imposed restriction. Unfortunately, those who seek to dictate to or enslave others usually do so with not only guns and force, but with a far more powerful and seductive tool. Economics. Terrorists and dictators today and throughout history have always used economics to win territory and enslave people when military might would not have worked. Just as Adolph Hitler initially gained support in post World War One Germany by promising to make the country strong and proud again, and both sides in the Vietnam War learned the value of winning the hearts and minds of the people, terrorist organizations like Hezbollah and Al Qaeda frequently gain footholds in strategically located towns and villages by promising and delivering economic aid and improving infrastructure. They are in effect buying the hearts and minds of the people.

This tactic even extends to politics. Candidates throughout history have sought to buy votes. This has sometimes been outright, but especially recently has been more clever and insidious. The idea of basing one's vote on which candidate will put more money in your pocket (or the infamous 'free stuff') may be distasteful and politically incorrect, but it is also undeniable. This is not a new phenomenon. It has simply become supercharged and more of an art form. Make no mistake though. When you allow a politician to buy your vote, you are selling a very important piece of yourself. You are bartering your freedom for that 'free stuff'.

When our Founding Fathers declared independence from Great Britain, they were essentially giving up the free stuff. They were stating to the world that their freedom from a distant tyrant was more important to them than the protection of one of the world's superpowers of the day. They were aware of the risks to not only their personal fortunes but to their lives and their families' lives. They risked everything material for something far more important. Freedom and self-determination. 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Simple and eloquent.

I'll finish with my words from July Fourth. The Egyptian people have reminded us that freedom must be fought for. It is not safe. It is not easy. It is not cheap. It risks injury, ruin, and sometimes death. Its frontline soldiers come in all races, genders and classes. They will be vilified. They will be opposed. They will be arrested and beaten and sometimes executed. But they will not be silenced, and their enemies will know defeat. The frontline soldiers of freedom fight not only in Tahrir Square, but all over the world and every state in the United States. Never forget the price that others have paid for our freedom, nor the price that others today are paying for theirs.

July 4th 2013

The Egyptian people have reminded us that freedom must be fought for. It is not safe. It is not easy. It is not cheap. It risks injury, ruin, and sometimes death. Its frontline soldiers come in all races, genders and classes. They will be vilified. They will be opposed. They will be arrested and beaten and sometimes executed. But they will not be silenced, and their enemies will know defeat. The frontline soldiers of freedom fight not only in Tahrir Square, but all over the world and every state in the United States. Never forget the price that others have paid for our freedom, nor the price that others today are paying for theirs. Happy Independence Day!

"Throwing Stones" June 30th 2013

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

It is impossible to ignore the latest distasteful airing of dirty laundry. The admission by Paula Deen that decades ago she used a racial slur. There can be no defense for using such offensive language by anyone of any race. This seems to get a pass in some circles, primarily hip hop culture where it seems somehow to almost be a term of affection. The fact is, this is the worst kind of hypocrisy and ultimately self-defeating for a society that seems to want to remove this word from usage. The more it is used, the more it is heard and the more it will be repeated. And of course, every time a rap artist uses it, they seem to belie the contention that they don't like it. Simply put, if you don't want to hear it, don't say it. 

But that is not all that I want to talk about. We have all said and done things that we regret. They aren't always quite as public as what Paula Deen did, but they can be as insensitive and in some cases as indefensible as what she did. Most of us make a sincere effort to not only come clean about our offenses, but to make amends and redeem ourselves. When we do this we are not defending what we did but we are simply asking to be forgiven. At that point the charitable and Christian thing to do is to forgive. Because we have all been there. We have all done wrong somewhere at some time and needed to be forgiven. Think about some people who have done wrong... very wrong in some cases, and have been forgiven. Jimmy Carter admitted publicly to lusting in his heart after women other than his wife, and while I am not one of Mister Carter's biggest fans, I appreciate the fact that he not only saw a flaw and sin in his heart but that he had the courage to publicly admit it. And I think that while Jimmy Carter has said and done many things that are at best questionable, he has been forgiven for that. Michael Vick is a very good example of someone who has done far worse than using a racial slur, but he admitted to his crimes, asked for forgiveness and paid the debt that our laws and society demanded. It seems fair to say that he has been forgiven. To be clear, I do not now, nor will I ever condone his acts. I do not now, nor will I ever defend him or what he did. But because I am a Christian I am compelled to forgive him for his heinous and inhumane acts. That doesn't mean that I will frequent businesses that employ him in any capacity, and I would obviously never let him near my cats. But (not that it is likely to mean anything to him) I forgive him because he asked for forgiveness.

In closing, I'd just like to reiterate that we have all done wrong. We have all fallen short and needed forgiveness. When someone publicly falls and publicly asks for forgiveness, try to resist the urge to start casting stones. 

Perspective June 23rd 2013

Not too long ago, I had the displeasure of running into someone who felt the need to make fun of a bit of harmless Star Trek fun out there in Facebook land.... He said that it was lame and stupid and we needed to get a sense of perspective. I don't particularly care if this person likes Star Trek or not, or really any of my other interests. What I do care about is the bad manners and utter disdain that was demonstrated by one of my 'friends'. Nobody forced him to make a comment, nobody solicited his opinion. We certainly do have freedom of speech, and Facebook and similar social networks certainly represent an open mic across the country and the world. But the fact is, if all you are doing is spreading negativity and putting others down, you are not making the world a better place. You aren't helping. There are serious issues out there, and websites like Facebook are ideal for getting important word out to many people. But it is also important to understand and respect the fact that some people aren't always 'on' politics. Awkward as this sounds, important issues are certainly important, but sometimes people need to be able to turn off the important and have some fun. And beating up on them for that really doesn't do anyone any good. This guy, and others like him not only love to talk politics (which admittedly is important), but will also denigrate anything else. Now far be it from me to tell people what they should or shouldn't be talking about, but the anger and vitriol has been turned up so loud that it is threatening to drown out everything else. Folks, I can guarantee you that if you occasionally let a trivial post go without injecting politics into it, or leave a harmless picture alone, despite its lack of perspective, the sky will not fall. The country will survive you skipping a target on Facebook.

What I'm really trying to get at is this. There are very serious issues out there that affect us all on a daily basis, and we need to be vigilant and pay attention and even spread the word. But we weren't put here to be serious all the time. A life without laughter, without light or fun or play is quite simply a waste. Aside from the proven health benefits of smiling and laughing, the fact is that life can be serious and dreary enough without trying to rain on someone's parade. And for that matter, it is important for everyone to find time in the day, even if it's just a half hour or twenty minutes to stop and relax. File away the bills, turn off the depressing news, walk away from the politics and find some way to treat yourself. And don't ever begrudge someone else doing the same thing. This isn't about Star Trek, or Facebook. It's about having fun in life and allowing others to.

Strength

Think of the way that your body fights off infections and disease. Not by never being exposed to injury or sickness, but quite the opposite. Our antibodies are strengthened through germs... Minor attacks on the body that teach our systems to fight back and be strong. Our spirits and hearts are the same. Every hit... every fall.... every unjust injury makes us stronger and better. You may hate the storm.... the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. But you will be better and stronger in the end. Never give up. Never surrender!

"Promises Promises" June 16th 2013

I'd like to talk today about keeping our word. That means not only to others, but to ourselves. When we decide to make a change in our lives for the better it is usually not an easy thing. It may be an exercise regimen, or saving money, or giving up a bad habit. Whatever it is, it usually means breaking from a comfort zone and pushing ourselves to improve our lives. It is very important to realize that these things generally take time and persistence. They may not show immediate results. They require strength of will. Faith and determination pay off in the end, but only through self discipline. Changes that are easy are rarely substantive. The important stuff takes patience and determination and sometimes good old fashioned sweat. Depending on what you are changing in your life you may be able to go to others for advice and support, but you are the key. You have to find a way to stay strong. In the end, the only person who can change you is you. Don't fill your life with broken promises to yourself. It may be easier in the short term to not do the hard work of changing, but in the long run you won't like the person who let you down.

The value of our word becomes even greater when we give it to someone else. Really, the only thing we have of any value is our word. Material things may place us at the top levels of society and in positions of power, but that value is meaningless because it can be lost or taken away. You cannot print value. (if you doubt that, look at the rollercoaster ride that is the dollar, or the rise and fall of people like Bernie Maddoff). Only we can give our word, and only we can break it. Before you give your word to someone, consider whether or not you can actually do it. If you aren't sure, you should either not promise anything at all, or tell them that you will try your best. It is far better to not promise than to promise and not deliver. And one more, very important point. If you break your word, don't fall back on the excuse "I didn't say 'promise'." That carries as much weight as crossing your fingers behind your back. It's an excuse that belongs on the playground. When you give your word, you make a promise. Simple as that. So my advice, something I strictly follow is this. Don't make promises easily or casually. Make them only when you know you are willing and able to keep them. That may not make as many friends quickly and easily, but those that you do make will value you a great deal more.

"All in the Family" June 9th 2013

I'm talking about two seemingly unrelated subjects today. We lost Jean Stapleton last week. A very sad thing. As Edith Bunker she represented something that made America great. A quiet, stubborn dignity and inherent decency that sees us through crisis after crisis with a moral compass that is unshakable. Edith didn't always do the smart thing. She wasn't always the brightest person in the room. She was occasionally gullible. She even allowed Archie to walk all over her sometimes when she shouldn't have. But she was good and loving and hardworking and unselfish. She stood by her husband and family no matter what. She chose her friends based not on the color of their skin but by the content of their character. And as the series went on she learned to stand up to Archie more and fight for what was important to her. She loved her family and despite the fireworks, her family always loved her. They understood that at the end of the day, the family was the most important thing. It was the core. The strength. The foundation. Years later, Rosaanne Barr liked to call herself a "Domestic Goddess". Well, it's just my opinion, but the real Domestic Goddess always was and always will be Edith Bunker. Quiet dignity. Quiet humility that loves rather than bullies or laughs at. Quiet stubborn hard work to keep her family together and taken care of. Those are all old fashioned values that may sometimes be subject to the ridicule of those who are used to a fast-moving electronically connected world, but they are also the glue that holds us together. They are what keeps a roof over our head and food on the table, not to mention the family together at the end of the day. We could do with more of Edith Bunker today.

We also observed the anniversary of the D-Day landings on June 6th. That was a moment when the free world united to put aside our cultural differences and confront and defeat evil. We were not always in complete agreement in our plans or agendas. We did not entirely check our egos at the door. We made mistakes and lives were lost unnecessarily. But we worked together and sacrificed for the greater good. Britain opened her arms and homes and bases to foreign soldiers... indeed, past enemies in order to coordinate and launch an invasion that was under the ultimate command of an American general. Remember that little more than a hundred years before World War Two, America and England were bitter enemies. This was a moment in history when we learned as a civilization that not only is evil enabled and encouraged by appeasement, but that it can only be defeated by putting our differences aside and fighting together. The fight was won not only by brave men in uniform on the beaches of Normandy, but by men and women in England working to coordinate the complex invasion, and by private citizens in France and Germany and all over Europe who risked all to aid the soldiers and hinder the enemy. It was even fought by people at home who conserved vital resources and did without basics so that our soldiers would be provided for. There was no guarantee that the invasion would succeed. Many died before they hit he beach. Some even landed on the wrong beach. But we persisted. We worked together. We fought as one. We sacrificed. And in the end, we didn't just end the war. We won it.

These two subjects actually have a lot in common. We can disagree with each other. We can fight and argue and drive each other crazy. We can make mistakes and be gullible. But we are all one family and we should never compromise on that. Love without condition. Stand by each other. Know when it is important to stop arguing and put differences aside to confront evil. None of us are perfect. The important thing is that we don't let go of the wheel in the middle of a storm. We know inherently what is wrong and what is right. Don't ever deviate from that. And make sure that at the end of the day the family is together.

"Speak Out" June 2nd 2013

Freedom of speech and freedom of the press have come into the national discussion of late, and it is beginning to transcend political lines. That is good, because it is something that affects us all. Not necessarily today, but someday. When the government, or anyone in a position of power begins to try to control peoples' right to speak out or report the news, then all of our freedoms are in jeopardy. That may sound a bit melodramatic, but really, think about the importance of simply being able to speak your mind, to call attention to the government, to address injustices. Then think about someone in authority who uses the power entrusted to them to try to limit or control what you say. Not always by literally stopping you, but by harrassment. By searching your correspondences or phone records on the pretense of investigating criminal acts, or using the taxing authority of the federal government to curtail your ability to functon as an organization. This is exactly what is happening in our country right now, and it is not a political issue... it is a moral issue. Any abuse of power by anyone must be fought and decried and exposed for what it is. 

You might think, depending on your political affiliations that it is okay for the IRS to investigate and obstruct certain groups from getting the tax exempt status that they apply and qualify for, but you should also remember that if the rule of law can be denied to one group it can be denied to any group. Political power is fleeting. Parties in power today may find themselves out of favor tomorrow, and could easily find themselves subject to the same scrutiny and constraints that their opponents once experienced. Once lost, freedom is very  hard to regain. If it becomes acceptable to target certain groups because of ther political views, then someday it may become acceptable, by extension, to target other groups for other reasons. Selective discrimination (and really, that is what it is, to target individuals or organizations simply because they belong to a certain group) is always wrong and dangerous. If you don't see that, I would recommend reading George Orwell's fascinating "Animal Farm".

Am I getting political? No. This is a universal and very serious issue in which not only Americans but people all over the world should be interested. If we can justify or allow or even discount the sort of discrimination that seems to be going on (while the truth appears to be locked away somewhere in our nation's capital), then we can justify the same mistreatment for anyone. Any politial group. Any gender. Any race. Equal treatment under the law is a cornerstone of our judicial system and society, and one would hope that our nation's top law enforcement officials would hold that concept in high regard.