Kiwi-Arama Chapter Three: "Meeting Uncle"

On their way to the great space station known as Eketahuna, Sam and Wirimu, along with the alien 'Tindollatex' see the huge wedge-shaped ship belonging to Tindollatex's uncle appear out of nowhere...

A beam reached out and grabbed the tiny ship. "Uh oh. Uncle caught me." They watched as they were dragged to the huge ship.

"Hey bro," Sam asked the alien. "What does your uncle want?"

"Yeah." Wirimu looked at the ship dragging them in. "Was you supposed to dig a hangi?"

"No, no. Hangi very good. This very bad." The little green alien in the shining silver suit watched the ship get closer. "I was supposed to prepare a great meal for my uncle. Instead I went on holiday."

"True?" Sam asked. "Where did you go?"

Wirimu looked at his cuz and laughed. "Don't be a Wally. He was goin' to Eketahuna for da footy."

Tindollatex laughed. "Eketahuna. Eketahuna." Then he looked serious. "I was on your planet for holiday. Now I have to see my uncle." Seconds later, the small ship was pulled inside of "uncle's" ship.

When they stepped from the small ship, they were greeted by metre tall golden robots. "Hey Sam" Wirimu had to stop himself from chuckling. "Look at da robot bro in front."

Sam looked at the robot. They were all the same, with normal shaped bodies, but heads that looked like tin cans. "Yeah. So what?"

"That looks like your aunty Sadie." Wirimu finally had to laugh.

Sam laughed along with him. "Yeah. After she makes herself up!"

"Be quiet SamandWirimu." Tindollatex suddenly sounded very serious. "My uncle will be angry if I bring no food."

"You got some good Kai, bro?" When Tindollatex looked confused at him, Wirimu added. "Food, bro. Bring a plate."

"Sweet!" Sam stopped suddenly. "A sausage sizzle!"

to be continued...

Serialized Fiction: "LoveBot" Part One

This is a work of fiction.

Type this into your web browser.

“www.lovebot.com”, without the quotes

Fill out a form, with screen name, password, and certify that you are over eighteen. Insert a few personal details, to ‘flesh out your experience’. Wait for the confirmation email to log in for the first time, then browse the ‘rooms’. Different categories. Different kinds of girls. Ages. Nationalities. How personal a relationship you want. Why not? Who else is going to come here? So you pick someone. I’ll pick a Russian girl, maybe five years younger. There is a reasonable excuse for why we can never meet.



“What’s your name?”

“Marisska. What is yours?”

“James. Where are you, Marisska?”

“I am in Moscow. Where are you, James?”

“Near Chicago, in America. You write English very well, Marisska. Better than I write Russian.”

“I work in a bank where there are many American clients.”

“Marisska, I have to go to bed. I work early in the morning. Will you be here tomorrow?”

“Probably. Look for me.”

“Thank you. Goodnight, Marisska.”










to be continued

I'd Rather Be a Klingon

I hear that in England not long ago, a few days ago, a bunch of punk kids (they call them yobs) were harrassing some woman in her house, screaming and throwing things at her house, breaking windows and so on. She called the police, and nobody could help. So she fires an air pistol into the air, and who gets in trouble? Not the kids. She does, for shooting the air pistol into the air. Then the bloody cops actually have the nerve to say they support her. If they had done their flaming job in the first place they wouldn't have to 'support her'. There was also this thing in Kaitaia last year, these kids (not really kids. Young adults. 18 at least) who tried to steal a farmer's all terrain 4X4. So the guy catches them running, with that and other stuff loaded on a truck fleeing. He yells at them to stop, they don't. So he shoots at them. One kid gets his face nicked... and who goes to jail? Not the kids, but the bloody farmer. I'd rather be a Klingon.

You know, this thing right now with the Berrymans and this bridge and this report that supposedly clears the Berrymans and blames it on the army. I don't know much about that, but why if the government knows they're right, don't they release the report? They forbid it. They crush opposition... they cover it up. Why? You don't have to cover up if you haven't done anything wrong. Bloody crooks. And there was that man who, while in surgery in NZ was DROPPED on the floor. DROPPED! And what does the doctor and staff have to say? They're trying to figure out what happened. You should know if you dropped the poor man on the floor. I saw a courier post guy actually run away from a customer complaining about him. He ran. Like a baby. Shocking and pathetic. So yeah, sure there is good happening in the world right now. I know some very nice people and have wonderful friends around the world. But people that I have been ranting about today make me ashamed to be the same species. If in fact I am. As I said, I'd rather be a Klingon.

Revenge of the Sith

Small town New Zealand won't get it for about a month, but, like, if you watch the original, you know how it ends. I have the screenplay, I've seen clips.... so, no surprises, but yeah, I'm a Star Wars fan. I like the job that Ewan McGregor is doing as Obi-Wan. And annoying as Anakin is, I can actually appreciate the idea of a screwed up teenager terrorizing the galaxy. I liked Attack of the Clones.... lots of excitement. Phantom Menace was rubbish, except for the pod race, and quite frankly, Ratchet and Clank on PS2 did that better. The droids were funny. "Roger, roger", and the "Where did you say?" "Coruscant" "Coruscant, oh, er, um, that doesn't compute. You're under arrest." So, the droids had the best dialogue. Oh. Liam Neeson was good in Phantom Menace, and Darth Maul was a good baddie who shouldn't have been marketed to children. The Queen's starship was kool too. I'll give it 3 out of 10, and be happy with that. Clones maybe 7 out of 10. Revenge of the Sith should be pretty good. Oh, and you know he already has plans for a television series set between episodes 3 and 4. So, like, that will be episode 3.5, Beating a Dead Horse?

Kapacts Rant: The PM from Dannevirke

Kapact's Rant: The PM from Dannevirke



She is Dallis Antunovich, and aside from being a nice young lady and the next PM, she makes a bowl of Cappucinno that will knock your socks off...

new webcam

I changed the webcam. See a couple of Russians sitting watching TV and eating....

An Actual Rant

I took a couple of days off. A new game on the Playstation… Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith. Yeah. Cool game, with movies… so like if it wasn’t a prequel, and the illustrated screenplay hadn’t been released a month ago, well, I’d know now. But that’s okay. Plus work has been total cr@p. Not the boss’s fault…. I make a couple of mistakes, in a job that I like wasn’t trained for, y’know? And still and all, the short little princess that I work for… oh yeah, she isn’t the boss. She just acts like it, and the boss lets her… well, she’s a nasty little princess and other bad words that rhyme with rich, but aren’t witch. I say, if she thinks she can run the bloody place all by herself, well, go for it little girl. Forget the fact that I’m twice your age and forget the fact that I may have actually learned maybe one or two things in my life before you were even born….

So there is a little rant.

Trekkies 2 What's in a link???

Kapact's Rant: Trekkies!


well, I put the link there, but it didn't show. So here it is..

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FederationandEmpire/

Trekkies!

Hey, if there are any budding writers out there who are Trekkies, have a look at one of my favorite groups.




more later....

What's a "Perverb"?

This is from "World Wide Words", noted in the links to your right. Please have a look at Michael's site. It is fascinating

The word was allegedly coined by Maxine Groffsky and is presumably a blend or portmanteau from perverse proverb. You create one by snapping a couple of existing proverbs in half and joining the end of one to the beginning of the other. My favourite is “The road to Hell wasn’t paved in a day”.

Too Many Cats

I'll tell you something. I like cats. I mean, I've always had cats, I think that they get picked on way too much, and I think very little of people who pick on cats. But....


When we moved to Dannevirke, it was starting to come into winter, and we found that someone had abandoned two five month old kittens to the streets. So we took them in. What happened? One went walkabout. very sad. But the other one presents us with six kittens. AARRGGHHH! We don't want to give them away at Christmas time because we figure they are going to be presents for spoiled kids that get tired of them in a week and their parents dump them in the street. So we put up with them until we can find homes for them. Too many cats in my house!!! The SPCA's round here either put them down, or they are full up because they don't put them down. So if you live here in Dannevirke, please come rescue me from all these cats. If you live elsewhere in the world, well, I'm willing to ship.

Just kidding. No shipping.

Hard at Work on a Sunday Night

I added some stuff to the links.... Kiwi slang for those of you in the northern hemisphere, so Sam and Wirimu (see, I spelled it right this time) can actually be understood. I also put in a link for fun things to do when you get bored, as well as fun (or peculiar) webcams for the week. If anyone reading this has suggestions (LOL.... for links that is :)))...), let me know, comment with a link, and I'll have a look. Who knows... maybe I'll actually change them every week. Oh heck. Back to work tomorrow. Hope you all had a good weekend. Seeya

VE Day

The calendar doesn't have anything to say on the subject, but it's VE day. Lest we forget what happens when we wait till it's too late before shooting mad dogs....

"Kiwiarama" Chapter Two: "Eketawhere???"

Sam and Wirimu’s plans to go to Eketahuna for da’ footy are spoiled when they have to dig a hangi for Uncle Henare. But their hangi digging is interrupted by a strange craft that burrows out of the ground. A small alien emerges from the craft, and invites the bro’s for a ride….

As the alien sat down at a silver control panel, Sam and Wirimu stood still. The craft lifted off quickly. “Hey little bro!” Sam shouted over the roaring engines. “Where are we going?”

The alien swiveled his head without moving his body. “Eketahuna!” Sam thought he sounded like E.T. “Eketahuna!”

“Eketawhere?” Wirimu asked. They both laughed.

“Eketahuna!”

“That’s sweet.” Wirimu said. He liked the alien. “Hey bro, what’s your name?”

“What’s your name?” It repeated. “Tindollatex! Tindollatex!”

“Ten dollar text?” Sam asked. “That’s awesome, mate!”

“True. For alla’ two-thousand-five!” Wirimu added. “Cheers!”

Seconds later, the ship shot into space. It left Earth orbit and headed straight for the moon. “I know a short cut.” Tindollatex said without turning his head.

As the boys watched, the craft flew around the moon, where a huge ring-shaped device waited. The ship flew through the ring, and both vanished.

It appeared a few minutes later in a different part of the universe. Outside of the ship, a huge space station spun slowly. It was gleaming, with thousands of twinkling lights and other flashing lights that looked like neon. Sam and Wirimu both thought it looked like a casino in space.

Tindollatex beamed at the boys and pointed out the viewport. “Eketahuna!” At the same time, a huge, wedge-shaped ship appeared from out of nowhere. When Tindollatex saw it, he stopped smiling. “Bugga…. Uncle caught me.”


To Be Continued…

The PM from Dannevirke

Just when I thought there was no hope for Parliament, I understand that a local young lady working at a local cafe (I suppose I shouldn't specify, except to say it is right next to the theatre on High Street... you can figure it out from there :)...) is shaping herself up for a run at Aunty Helen. I for one am happy to see it, and you'll get my vote for sure!

Things they wouldn't print: State run media

Since the newspaper won't print everything I have to say, I'll just put it here. Have a look at "State Run Media". Inspired by headlines from about a month ago, but it is still a good message...


-----------




When one hears the expression “state-run media”, all sorts of images come to my mind. Aside from the “newspeak” of the novel 1984, you have the Nazi propaganda minister, or maybe the Soviet Union’s Pravda.

Not to say that the government has any direct influence over the editorial positions taken by TVNZ, or for that matter, the programming, but it is never a good idea to have a major media outlet on the government payroll. “The foxes are guarding the hen-house” and “... in their back pocket” are two American expressions that seem to suit this. And when the Head of TVNZ news is best friends with the Prime Minister, you have what the legal types refer to as a conflict of interest.

But how about kindly Aunty Helen using our tax dollars to keep TVNZ’s ratings up? Eight million dollars going to keep Coronation Street? I watch it, sure. But it makes no difference to me where I watch it, and quite frankly I resent my tax dollars (that big surplus that my tax dollars helped to fund is just a wee bit smaller now) going to keep the show on TVNZ. If TVNZ cannot compete honestly, using revenues from advertising without dipping into my pay cheque to keep it afloat, then maybe they don’t deserve to be in business.

OY!

yesterday I made the bold pronouncement that it was going to rain straight through till Saturday. So of course it stopped raining. Then it started again. Bugger.


More tomorrow....

Many voices!

Nice to hear so many voices out there....

Have a Nice Day!

I work with the public, and as a result, I find myself saying "have a nice day" probably hundreds of times a day. But I've noticed that if it is raining outside, many people seem to think that they cannot possibly have a nice day. I say, folks, lighten up. If you having a nice day depends on the weather, you should be living in Southern California (although it rains there sometimes, despite what the song says), or maybe you should not be so dependent on the weather to be happy.


That's it. Short but enthusiastic rant. Have a pleasant evening :)


Kapact

Wirimu

I am reliably informed that it is Wirimu, not Wiramu. Thank you, anonymous :). I appreciate the help.



Kapact

Kiwi elections

Do we think someone will beat Helen Clark?

 

 

Kapact

"Kiwiarama" Chapter One: "Hangi Surprise"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is something I am writing for a local newspaper. Maybe they'll publish it, maybe they won't. Maybe you've read about the blog in the paper, maybe you haven't. Who knows. But just in case they don't publish it, here is a serial I am writing about a couple of Kiwi 'bro's', and their excellent adventure. Enjoy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"Kiwiarama" Chapter One "Hangi Surprise"







"Hey, Wiramu! Are you there, bro?" Sam knocked at the window outside of Wiramu's bedroom. "Wake up! We're gonna take the bus to Eketahuna to watch the footie!" There was no answer, so Sam pulled out his mobile. He tapped in a quick text message. "wake ^ bro we hav 2 go 2 d footie" Still no answer. He sent the message again, setting his mobile to repeat the message ten times, and he waited. Still nothing. Finally Sam turned to walk away. "That silly bugger. He probably hasn't got any money on his phone." But as he started to walk away, his own phone rang. New message. It was from Wiramu.

"I M rght Bhind U, U silly bugr"

"What?" Sam turned around to see his friend Wiramu. "C'mon bro, let's go."

"Nah, bro. My uncle Henare told me I have to dig a hangi first." Wiramu wasn't happy about that. But Uncle Henare was da boss.

"True?"

"Yeah, bro." Lucky enough for Wiramu, Sam was a good mate. He went with him to help dig the hangi.

After digging for ten minutes, they both stopped. Sam turned to Wiramu. "Crikey! This is hard yakka!" He dropped his shovel. "Where are your rellies? They should be doing this."

"They get to sleep late, cuz. It's tragic." He handed Sam his shovel and started digging again.

"No worries, mate. We'll finish this in no time. Or by winter. Whichever comes first." Sam laughed as he resumed digging.

A few minutes later, they were knee deep in the ground when Wiramu hit something hard with his shovel. "What's that?" He stopped digging and hit it again. "Hey Sam, look at this."

"Yeah, bro? Did ya hit Eketahuna yet?" Sam looked at the shiny bit in the ground that Wiramu was hitting. "What is it?"

"I don't know. I think it's moving!"

In fact it was. In seconds, it had grown from a small shiny bit of rock to a cone. Then what looked like a large drill bit. Soon the boys saw that it was a huge drill bit. Finally, to their amazement, they saw that it was a car of some kind, tunnelling up through the ground, with a huge cone-shaped drill on the front. The car came bursting through the ground to settle on the grass near the hole that had been dug. Seconds later a hatch opened up on the side of the car. A loud hum could be heard from inside, followed by words in a strange language. "Take me to your leader!" Sam laughed.

Then a strange creature walked out of the car. It was green all over, with fiery red eyes, and it wore a shiny silver jumpsuit. "Take me to your leader!" It said, in a perfect imitation of Sam's voice.

Wiramu looked at Sam, then back at the creature. "True?"

“Hey, bro” Sam had an idea. “Maybe the little guy could take us to Eketahuna in time for da footy!” Then he looked the green creature. “Howzaboutit bro?”






To Be Continued...

saying for the day

set it on fire and dance around it!



cheers

Poetry.... "Orion"

Orion


Crouched.
Tensed.
Hidden and lurking.
Outstretched wings-
fiery tips
slips through Orion
hunting packs of three
conveys thou and thee
through a cold and vacuumed sea
tigers. dragons. ships.
blips on the scope.
vanquished
unclean.
Give them rope
just enough to hang...
we heard the weapons-
fire sang.
I sang my love for thee
a kiss goodnight.
Orion slip'd away

Enterprise Virtual Seasons

hey, some of you, if there is actually anyone there, may be Enterprise fans.... if you are, why not have a look at my enterpisevirtualseasons yahoo group?



Looking forward to Season Five!


Kapact

Welcome anyone listening

I already spend too much time writing, and playing computer games.... my poor wife.... so here it is. I am going to express opinions, or just rant or talk. Answer back if you have something to say...


Cheers

Kapact